On Professionalism and Wine
I really promised myself I wouldn't do this until my gig was up, yet here I am with a glass of wine on a Friday at 4:46 typing away. One of those days. And actually it wasn't that BAD of a day. I made up my mind I was going to change my attitude about a certain group of kids (period 7). And I did. And for today that worked. But as many of you teachers know it just takes that one kid to knock you down and make you wonder what in the world are you doing here.
I really don't know why I am giving - let's call him Joe - a whole blog post, maybe I just need to get him off my chest. And my neck, and my shoulders, they are tighter than a drum right now. The story is that "Joe" started this year in one of my classes with me and from pretty much day one he didn't like me. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW not all kids are going to like me. I have had probably more than a few in my 15 years of teaching that did not, but never have I had one tell me so on a weekly basis.
He is one of those kids that just says and does things to get under my skin. Daily. Example: He will hold his hand up while I am talking (maybe 5 minutes at longest) and when I am finally at a breaking point - I call on him and he will say - never mind...it is irrelevant now. OK...so why didn't you put your hand down then Joe? Of course I don't say that--I am polite, professional, and well behaved. Another example - he will attempt to correct something I have said or done - such as grammar - that he clearly doesn't know what he is talking about - but with an air of arrogance so as to make the students around him think he is on to something. In order to pretend to be the grown up, I do NOT point out his unfortunate misunderstanding of grammar--but show him he, is in fact, mistaken in a politely, professionally, and well-behaved manner. Go me.
Then there was today. Today was the day that the dam broke and the flood came pouring out. This young man is a teacher's assistant for one of the offices - either attendance or counseling- -not even sure. He brought me a pass for a student of mine in my 1st period class during the morning announcements. That student was absent that morning - I had just taken attendance. I also had just received a rather important phone call on my cell phone from a doctor's office and was in the hall discussing a private matter, and here came "Joe" with the pass. I looked at the name, recognized it as one that was not at school that day and sent the pass back with Joe. (definitely protocol at our school). So, later that day, during class-time, and in front of the class, Joe decided to just tell me how stupid I was for not knowing who was in my class - especially since I was too busy on the phone to know---and sending the student to the office in search of his pass later. What Joe did not know was that the young man in question had arrived late to school due to a problem with his car not starting so he was in fact not in my room when Joe had brought the pass around - but had arrived much later.
It was at this point I decided to ask Joe just why he felt the need to berate and belittle me over things he didn't really understand and he said " because I just don't like you" at which point my professionalism, politeness, and behavior flew right out the window and I said--well I don't like you either, Joe!
Now, many of you are probably gasping (WHAT?) that a teacher would say such a thing to a student, trust me I am too. Many others are probably saying, I don't blame you, but I am here to say I usually do like all of my students. And even when I may not like them, they honestly would never know it. I have received more thank you notes at the end of the year from students who were not on the top of my "favorite student' list than I ever have from those I really did favor. I think that is because I have always tried very hard to be professional and to treat kids like I would want a teacher to treat my kids.
Honestly though, if I EVER thought or heard that my child was as rude as this one (or some others I have this year) to a teacher, I would get the old wooden spoon out and not spare the rod that is for sure. I have heard people say kids are changing, usually it is old people who say that. Remember that last blog post? Is 50 old? I am out of here--I need another glass of wine. Till next time, friends...
I really don't know why I am giving - let's call him Joe - a whole blog post, maybe I just need to get him off my chest. And my neck, and my shoulders, they are tighter than a drum right now. The story is that "Joe" started this year in one of my classes with me and from pretty much day one he didn't like me. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW not all kids are going to like me. I have had probably more than a few in my 15 years of teaching that did not, but never have I had one tell me so on a weekly basis.
He is one of those kids that just says and does things to get under my skin. Daily. Example: He will hold his hand up while I am talking (maybe 5 minutes at longest) and when I am finally at a breaking point - I call on him and he will say - never mind...it is irrelevant now. OK...so why didn't you put your hand down then Joe? Of course I don't say that--I am polite, professional, and well behaved. Another example - he will attempt to correct something I have said or done - such as grammar - that he clearly doesn't know what he is talking about - but with an air of arrogance so as to make the students around him think he is on to something. In order to pretend to be the grown up, I do NOT point out his unfortunate misunderstanding of grammar--but show him he, is in fact, mistaken in a politely, professionally, and well-behaved manner. Go me.
Then there was today. Today was the day that the dam broke and the flood came pouring out. This young man is a teacher's assistant for one of the offices - either attendance or counseling- -not even sure. He brought me a pass for a student of mine in my 1st period class during the morning announcements. That student was absent that morning - I had just taken attendance. I also had just received a rather important phone call on my cell phone from a doctor's office and was in the hall discussing a private matter, and here came "Joe" with the pass. I looked at the name, recognized it as one that was not at school that day and sent the pass back with Joe. (definitely protocol at our school). So, later that day, during class-time, and in front of the class, Joe decided to just tell me how stupid I was for not knowing who was in my class - especially since I was too busy on the phone to know---and sending the student to the office in search of his pass later. What Joe did not know was that the young man in question had arrived late to school due to a problem with his car not starting so he was in fact not in my room when Joe had brought the pass around - but had arrived much later.
It was at this point I decided to ask Joe just why he felt the need to berate and belittle me over things he didn't really understand and he said " because I just don't like you" at which point my professionalism, politeness, and behavior flew right out the window and I said--well I don't like you either, Joe!
Now, many of you are probably gasping (WHAT?) that a teacher would say such a thing to a student, trust me I am too. Many others are probably saying, I don't blame you, but I am here to say I usually do like all of my students. And even when I may not like them, they honestly would never know it. I have received more thank you notes at the end of the year from students who were not on the top of my "favorite student' list than I ever have from those I really did favor. I think that is because I have always tried very hard to be professional and to treat kids like I would want a teacher to treat my kids.
Honestly though, if I EVER thought or heard that my child was as rude as this one (or some others I have this year) to a teacher, I would get the old wooden spoon out and not spare the rod that is for sure. I have heard people say kids are changing, usually it is old people who say that. Remember that last blog post? Is 50 old? I am out of here--I need another glass of wine. Till next time, friends...
Go Mary!!!
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