Everything 50's

I hate to wish my life away, but I am very ready for 2016 to end!  While there were several good things that happened in 2016, mostly I am ready to put it behind me.  April 6, 2016 basically changed my life.  What I thought was a routine colonoscopy ended with a cancer diagnosis and began a whole new life routine for me, my husband, and many who worried about me.  Surgery - which was scary on its own, six months of chemo for a total of 12 treatments - that many thought I couldn't complete because of their toxicity, and the side effects that linger long after the chemo is done.  It has been one hell of a ride.  I finished my last chemo treatment on November 1, 2016 and rang the bell, although I was still wearing the chemo pump, so it was a little less sweet than it should have been. Since that time, I have anxiously waited my first CEA check which was scheduled for December 13. My  CEA  level when I was first diagnosed was 4.6.  From my unde...

I have been wondering what to write about next and rather than stress about it, I just decided that something would come to me eventually.  Today it did.  I was watching a clip of an Ellen Degeneres show and it was about a quarterback and his friend and how the qb won the title of Homecoming King but knelt down and gave the crown to his friend.  I guess some have said he did it because his friend has Cerebral Palsy, but the qb stated he did it because he truly thought his friend would win and that he deserved it because he exuded happiness and made those around him happy. His final words were that he hoped if others had the chance to make someone's day by doing something kind, that they would do it. I sat and thought about this and it made me think of whether I do things to make others happy very often and unfortunately I thought- no I don't.  Here I am a recipient of kindness almost on a daily basis from my friends, and even from people whom I know albeit not too ...

Labor Day is usually anything but labor for the average person since many places take the day as a holiday and send their workers home to have a cookout. If you are a mom though and your kids are going to be home for the weekend, labor is an act of love. I have spent the last several days of my week preparing for the arrival of my daughter, her boyfriend-Jeremy, my son and his fiance-Mindi. I first worked on a prepared a menu for every meal we would eat in and also plans for if we ate out somewhere. Grocery shopping was necessary and using my list went smoothly. Cleaning the house was next on the list. We needed to spruce up the upstairs bedrooms, change sheets and bedding, and make sure the cobwebs were dusted out. Since we have a bedroom on the first floor, our trips upstairs are few and far between. I also knew the weather was supposed to be great so I needed to clean the dust, pollen and dirt as well as a petrified toad out of the screened in porch. Next up was preparing as ...

August 30, 2016 Yesterday I met a couple good friends for lunch and a movie in Greenwood. Honestly it was the first day I felt pretty good after last week's chemo.  Seems to take a day or two longer each treatment to feel better. Five more MAX...right? So, back to yesterday.  I decided that after fighting my really thinning hair to make it look decent enough for public, I might see about a wig.  I googled Bloomington wigs and came up with a place called Wig Wam.  I thought it was truly not a REAL wig place, but I followed directions and sure enough--a real wig store.  I was very nervous going in, but the lady who waited on me was kind and told me to just look around until I found something I wanted to try on.  I could hear her behind a partition talking to another "customer," so I looked.  I picked out a blond, a red, a brown and a longer than I have ever had hair wig.  I went behind the partition and there was a chair and a large mi...

August 16 So how could I NOT do a blog or at least say a little bit about my youngest getting engaged!??  He took his girlfriend to Mackinaw Island to celebrate her first "quarter" of PA school ending and he will come back with a FIANCE!!!  happy dance happy dance!!!  I have only ever prayed that my kids would meet someone that makes them happy, and I knew if they did I would love the person.  I can't describe how much happiness I feel for these two kids!  They are BOTH wise beyond their years, humble about their GOD-given talents, and hard workers.  They are also both darn cute if I do say so myself. I think their relationship was made in heaven because both of their mothers prayed for them to find the right one.  I think we are both pretty pleased!!!  I can honestly say that Mindi becoming part of our family through a wedding will be in law only because in my heart she has already become one of us!!  Now, don't ask me for any wedding det...

August 8, 2016 Today is Tuesday and it is my typical chemo day.  I thought I would outline everything that goes on so you all know what someone going through chemo deals with on chemo day! Today I miss my daughter as she has brought me to the past  4 chemo treatments.  I so appreciate her because she drove 2.5 hours to our house--and then another 45 min to an hour to take me to treatments every other week. What a sweetheart and a trouper!!  Today Brian brought me...love him too but not the same as having my sweet daughter with me! Number 6  --this is a big treatment because not only is it HALFWAY to the number 12 goal, it is also the number that many say is ENOUGH of this type of treatment.  There are clinical trials that are trying to find the data to say 6 is just as good as 12.  I am so grateful to be at number 6 today! 6:15 a.m  -- Hubby wakes me up. 6:20 a.m.-- My alarm goes off so I get up and hop in the shower---it will be my last...

I started this post Friday, April 8, when I thought I would be undergoing surgery.  At the time while I was writing, it seemed cathartic, but then I just couldn't bring myself to post it.  I guess I need some time.  I decided to come back to it today and edit it into a weekly or monthly journal.  Maybe when this journey is over or at least when I know more, I can post it. Friday, April 8, 2016      This year I decided I would be really proactive with my health.  I had two partial knee replacements a couple of years ago and have seen a rheumatologist I really like and therefore I was feeling good with my bones and joints for the first time in quite awhile.  I am pretty good at having my yearly mammogram, pap smear, twice-yearly teeth cleaning, and so I added to this finding a primary care doctor and scheduling a colonoscopy .  I watched in tears over 15 years ago as Katie Couric  told on The Today Show  how everyone should ...

I drove out to Heltonville, Indiana today to a graduation party for one of the sweetest students I have ever had; and as I was driving I reflected on Memorial Day and what the holiday means.  Of course, I knew it had to do with honoring those who have died in service of our country, but for me it is a great holiday to also reflect on memories of days past as well.  As I drove, I passed more than three houses set in the country side that were the setting for a party. Cars were plenty in the drives and yard, and everyone was sitting around in a lawn chair circle. It really made me remember. I started thinking about holidays and times spent with my grandparents, my Mamaw and Papaw Whiteley.  I never ever went through a phase in my life when I didn't want to go to an event at my mamaw and papaw's.  I loved it there. I spent the night with them several times when I was a teenager  and even a young adult with my own children; and have so many fond memories. To many,...

Wednesday I received a phone call with the horrible news that my uncle, my mom's baby brother passed away.  I thought when my cousin called she was going to tell me that a new baby was coming to our family so when she gave me the news I was absolutely blown away.  My feelings, however, are not what I want to write about. I want to write about my memories of my Uncle Fred, so that his kids, my cousins, will know how much he meant to me.  I can only hope he knew. The first memory I am going to write about is not really a memory, but a story I have been told.  When I was born I was the first grandchild and my Uncle was only 15 years old.  He was the baby of the family and was a jokester.  I do remember him playing with me a lot at my mamaw and papaw's house and always thought he was the best.  My mother has told me this story so often it seems like a memory.  Evidently he taught me to say the word "shit" thinking it would be really funny to hear a ...

I teach high school English.  This year I am teaching sophomore literature, Indiana Literature, and a class of students who are repeating freshman lit.  My classes are pretty full, some have over 30 students, some just under, so all total I see about 170 students each day.  It has become harder and harder for me to get to know all their names as I get older, and that bothers me. It hurts me when I call a student by the wrong name because I see in their eyes that they must not be important to me.  That is not it at all.  It is that I have three boys in one class who all are brown headed and wear their hair the same way, hang out together in class and I can't tell one from another. Or that I have three Zachs in one class, three Allisons in another, three Alexis in two others, two Brayden's (different spellings), and two Madisons.  I don't know why I can't keep it straight. What does help me to remember them is to get to know them.  I try really hard to...

My husband and I will be celebrating 30 years of marriage in July of this summer. We dated for a whopping one and a half years prior to marrying, so we have actually already been together over 32 years as a couple.  Our first date was in January of 1984 and pretty much once we went out, we were a couple.  It seems that these days 30 years is a lifetime of a marriage, what with so many marriages not lasting nearly that long.  Also seems that it used to be a 30 year marriage was the norm. Do not worry, I am here to tell you how to make a perfect marriage last.  No, I am not. I have no idea. Our marriage is not perfect, far from it.  We have had our trials.  We have had the "for worse" parts for sure.  We just persevered I guess.  There were times in our marriage where it was as easy as breathing for me.  And then there were times it may as well have been climbing Mt. Everest, swimming across the English Channel, or leaping off the Empire Sta...

I really promised myself I wouldn't do this until my gig was up, yet here I am with a glass of wine on a Friday at 4:46 typing away.  One of those days.  And actually it wasn't that BAD of a day.  I made up my mind I was going to change my attitude about a certain group of kids (period 7). And I did. And for today that worked.  But as many of you teachers know it just takes that one kid to knock you down and make you wonder what in the world are you doing here. I really don't know why I am giving - let's call him Joe - a whole blog post, maybe I just need to get him off my chest.  And my neck, and my shoulders, they are tighter than a drum right now. The story is that  "Joe" started this year in one of my classes with me and from pretty much day one he didn't like me.  Don't get me wrong, I KNOW not all kids are going to like me. I have had probably more than a few in my 15 years of teaching that did not, but never have I had one tell me so on a week...

So I have been wanting to do this for awhile. Just write down what is in my head and I really don't like to write on a piece of paper anymore--hand cramps you know.  At any rate, turning 50 has been one of the most surreal things that has happened to me.  For real!  I dreaded it.  I mean countdown, laughed about it, but deep down did not want it to happen, at all.  So I did what every normal gal almost turning 50 does.  I planned to have lots of parties happen in my honor.  Just kidding, but I did let everyone know that I was turning 50 so they would make sure to remember.  And trust me, they did NOT forget! First,  my hubby tells me he is going to take me on a little weekend trip right before my big day --we headed to several southern Indiana casinos--anyone who knows me knows I love to play slot machines. Just the cheap ones and I never spend very much and I am usually pretty lucky (I get that from my mamaw).  So on our way home we c...